The Last Train Home

"He rose and moved about with a painful effort, succumbing now and again to attacks of nausea. It was the old depression exaggerated; all the world had become Cordelia Street.Yet somehow he was not afraid of anything, was absolutely calm; perhaps because he had looked into the dark corner at last, and knew. It was bad enough, what he saw there; but somehow not so bad as his long fear of it had been. He saw everything clearly now. He had a feeling that he had made the best of it, that he had lived the sort of life he was meant to live, and for half an hour he sat staring at the revolver. But he told himself that was not the way, so he went downstairs and took a cab to the ferry." 

(Cather, 487)


In Willa Cather's "Paul's Case," the author utilizes Paul as an example for those who live by fear and the construct of society. The character tries to escape reality constantly, clearly unhappy with his own life. From the start, Paul does attends school, he works, he cleans the dishes, he goes to church. He does not do these things because he wants to but because he must. He forges lies upon lies to form the ultimate fantasy world in which he lives. He creates a false reality amongst his peers and family, he tries to escape his current disposition. The theatre and concert halls present themselves as sanctuaries, places where he could thrive in. When he finally took his life into his own hands, Paul robs, steals, cheats his father and the bank altogether. For the first time in his life, rather than run away from his problematic life or obediently stay in submission, Paul takes matters into his own hands. He fulfills his quest to experience life as he so fittingly deserves in New York, and takes his own life, freeing himself from the pain, anguish, and deception his life holds. Paul has no fear. He has no limitations. He is free. He accepts his life as it is, and dies happy. He dies in peace. 


I chose this significant moment from the text because it is almost cathartic in nature. This moment is so vital to the self-realization process that Paul goes through. Everyone in some way shape or form has freed themselves of some fear or heavy burden they hold. Everyone has escaped reality and eventually come to terms with the truth. Only a few can say they have taken their lives into their own hands, taken control of what his or her life. Of course, it is tragic Paul commits suicide, but it is almost beautiful in retrospect. He was not happy with his life. He lived a lie. He carried out his errands, duties, chores, etc monotonously, without any care or passion. He lives indifferently. When he finally acted on his dreams did he truly taste joy. Because he revolted from his current disposition, he finally lived. He lived the life he has dreamed in a few days, and came to terms with his past and future. He made a choice and must either face the consequences, or once again take his life into his own hands, or rather, take his life by his own hands. I find this moment to be pivotal in the story because at this moment, the reader gets to see that Paul is happy. He has lived a life he did not want, and after much heart ache and pent up frustration, he frees himself from the shackles of his structured life. He faces death and the consequences of his actions, without regret, without doubt. He attains peace of mind. 




Discussion Question: Why does Willa Cather enlighten and forge Paul into a character of cathartic nature, only to bring about his eventual suicide and condemnation? Why must Paul die rather than live?