"But I think what you're saying is that love is an absolute."

In "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love," Carver pushes the expectations and comforts of the reader. The story is centered on two couples, and very different opinions on love which the couples discuss over drinks one afternoon.

Love is both the most difficult and complex emotion we have. As a child, we're taught of the different basic loves: familial love, friendship love, romantic love. We all have a picture of what love is, what it should be like. This picture is often very different from reality.

In the story, Mel's wife describes an abusive relationship from her past. Mel refutes, saying that that type of relationship could never be love; however, Terri is convinced that it was a form of love. When asked if the behavior of the abusive man sounded like love, the narrator responds:

"I'm the wrong person to ask," I said. "I didn't even know the man. I've only heard his name mentioned is passing. I wouldn't know. You'd have to know the particulars. But I think what you're saying is that love is an absolute." (129)

While reading this story, the reader almost innately sides with Mel, assuming that such a love could not be love at all. As the story progresses, however, Carver's core argument which I believe to be that love is not an absolute puts the reader in the uncomfortable position of reconsidering just what this basic emotion is and means.

My question for class is: Can love be sick, and still be love?