Who is the No Name Woman?

"In the twenty years since I heard this story, I have not asked for details nor said my aunt's name: I do not know it. People who can comfort the dead can also chase after the, to hurt them further-- a reverse ancestor worship. The real punishment was not the raid swiftly inflicted by the village, but the family's deliberately forgetting her. " p. 16, No Name Woman


Throughout No Name Woman, the narrator shown a struggle with her family's silence as she attempts to determine where she fits into the world as a woman, as a person who is Chinese, and as a person who is from her specific family.  The story progresses in a series of conjectures about who the aunt was, and how her life came to pass, but because of the family's silence, the narrator doesn't actually know the reality of her aunt's situation, and even more importantly, has not asked. The passage above seems to be a moment of clarity about the role of family-- that within family exists a power over (and to some degree, a responsibility for) their own kin's existence. And so, in the overarching question of what is determined by culture and what is determined by family, we see that while both have the potential and the convention to pass along tradition and history, within the idea of "family' lies this much darker power. Thus, we are affronted by the idea of a "No Name Woman": perhaps a woman such as the narrator's aunt who has been pushed into nonexistence by her family's silence or perhaps a woman such as the narrator (who, it is to be noted, does not present us with her own name) whose identity is being formed under the heavy influence of things unspoken.

Question:

How has the identity of both the narrator and her aunt been affected by the repression of her aunt's memory?